Saturday, March 22, 2014

My Daughter Left Me For Minnie Mouse

Well, spring break has officially arrived and I am at home. Yes, the absolute FIRST spring break I have not jetted/drove off somewhere for the week. There's a weird calming peace to it, though, I must say. Literally for as long as I can remember, mom and dad packed us all up [usually with a friend] and we'd drive down to Orlando for the week. I never did the Panama City, Fl spring break or any of that - didn't care to. Although, there was that one time I lived there and did experience it for the first time. Regrettably, I enjoyed it for that brief moment. But as luck would have it, I moved away and never did it again. #winning! Disneyworld/Universal was where it was at for me. Hands down. Although now I prefer more of a Hilton Head relaxed vacation, given Disneyworld can get exhausting with two kids [admit it parents!]. But with that said, I still wouldn't trade those memories for anything; nothing is more important than seeing that life in their eyes. 

Ok now I'm getting sad. 

So..... my daughter left for spring break this morning and I've been a basket case. No this isn't like a senior year trip to Cancun [yikes, my heart can't even fathom that right at this moment] ... no she's only 4. When we found out we were expecting and set to deliver after the first of the year, my parents jumped right on that and decided to take her to Disney as a nice "big sister" trip but just the three of them - to give us a short week to ourselves with little man. All fine and dandy at the time of planning said trip, but now it's here. And I'm sad. I miss her. Like reeeaaaallllly miss her. My heart was aching last night when we said goodbye. Even when Chris went to give her a hug she said "...are you leaving me?" Oh my heart!!! :( I know she's in good hands, that's not the issue. I have serious separation anxiety and sometimes it just gets the best of me. 

So here I am. Little man is asleep, hubs is being the handy man helping his dad at their house, so it's just me. It gets too quiet, so I usually put on Big Band/Swing [ch.801 Direct tv, if you're interested] and let it play. It's soothing. I don't dare turn on a movie, afraid it'll trigger something that will remind me of my girl. Yes, I am that sensitive. I cried like a baby last night.

I think it's just the whole I'm at home, while she's away thing. When I leave for a trip without the kids it still takes me a day to recover, but I know I'll be ok because I'm not home where their toys are everywhere or near the smell of their clothes/room. But I'm home! So everything reminds me of her. I opened her door this morning just to peek in and the smell of her little room just got to me. I sound like such a sap. 

7 more days, and she'll be back home. But who's counting? :) 

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